Cyclone

"Oh man, this time it's bigger than usual. Every time it comes back, it's always more imposing and difficult to manage. It's as if life experiences feed Cyclone with their tasty load of discomfort… Maybe my impression and perception make Cyclone bigger than it really is.

But I'm not sure.

Anyway, I have to try to calm it down again. This emotional typhoon is blowing so hard it's sweeping away the tranquility of my mental plan. Emotional and mental are intertwined like a wicker basket; my ability must make them work together as individual entities. Otherwise, Cyclone will sweep me away like the song of a black siren.

But… but every time I calm Cyclone, it eventually comes back, like a disease where only the symptoms are treated and not the cause. So, I should…

💡

I must find the cause!

And how do I find the cause? I guess I must look inside myself, I have no other choice. I have to accept my mistakes, my faults, and my inadequacies, and only then I can transform the destructive into the constructive!
Man, you make it sound easy… I don't feel like analyzing myself, I'm not ready to take responsibility, I'm not strong enough to live with my failures. It's so easy to judge others and see what's wrong with them, why do I have to be the one to evaluate myself? Just because every word said about others is actually a judgment we're making about ourselves?! It sounds… crap, it sounds smart, how did I come up with that?
It's true though, I already realized that it's easy for me to see my flaws in others and judge them based on mine; they're flaws I know so well that I can even predict their actions. Because they're mine, darn it.

Cyclone swirls stronger

Come on, you're the only one missing! Grrr, maybe I'm doing something wrong… What should I focus on? But more than anything, what do I really have power over? … Beyond myself, nothing. And let's start from there.

** Three deep breaths **
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** We can start **

Okay, let's see what my body tells me…: it's fine, my lower back is slightly sore, I have a little pain in my right knee but nothing serious, except for my heart pounding as soon as I see and visualize Cyclone.
Now I calm down the emotions, like a calm lake on a summer day when the sun lights up the world. The landscape reflects in those clear and still waters, reminiscent of a rock in the midst of the storm.
The sky is clear, serene, like my mental plan. The clouds of destructive thoughts have gone away on the wings of the wind of awareness. Just in time to decorate the sky with these new and pure thoughts.
And now the most difficult and fun part… It's time to dive into myself, without judgment and preconceptions, without notions and knowledge, letting go of the concrete mind and relying solely on the intuitive mind. Some say that only this way can unite with one's soul and complete oneself, managing to grab the essence of the Self. Bah, those who read what I write know I have other interests, it's just that I enjoy being as white and pure as Light. And now I want to intuit how to Be.
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Oooookkeeeeyyy………
I'm here, I can face Cyclone!

** He turns, covering his eyes from the sun **

But… Where's cyclone?"